Popular literature suggests that men and women are so
different that they seem to be from two different planets. Yet scientific
research on the differences in communication styles between males and females
has found that overall they are more alike than different. When it comes to communication,
both men and women exhibit a range of behaviors and approaches. The way
a particular man or woman behaves has more to do with personality
differences than gender differences. Based on studies of communication,
social psychology, and psychology, approximately 85% of men and women overlap
in their behaviors and approaches (Dindia, 2006).
The attention given to gender differences unfortunately
promotes stereotyping and leads couples to have unfair expectations and difficulty
understanding one another. For example, Kathryn Dindia (2006), points out that
there is a mistaken stereotype that when men are stressed when they come home from
work at the end of a day, they tend to avoid talking about it and go to their “cave”
to work things out, while women prefer to discuss their problems and express
their feelings.
According to Dindia, this assumption is based on traditional male-female roles. In a situation where a man works out of the home and a woman stays home during the day – their communication patterns would likely fit this model. However, she has found that many women who work away from home likewise prefer to “go to their cave” when they come home from work. The communication difference, therefore, may not be related to gender but rather to whether or not a person has been interacting with other people all day (at work) vs. staying at home alone (or with young children) without much adult interaction.
According to Dindia, this assumption is based on traditional male-female roles. In a situation where a man works out of the home and a woman stays home during the day – their communication patterns would likely fit this model. However, she has found that many women who work away from home likewise prefer to “go to their cave” when they come home from work. The communication difference, therefore, may not be related to gender but rather to whether or not a person has been interacting with other people all day (at work) vs. staying at home alone (or with young children) without much adult interaction.
It is worthwhile to think about communication differences
between you and your partner as stemming from differences in personality and
experiences (or nature and nurture) rather than as a result of a gender
difference. This can motivate you to explore the differences on a personal
level and discover how to better anticipate and meet one another’s needs for
communication.
Post a Comment: What personality traits have you heard are gender specific and then have found them to be true of both males and females?
Post a Comment: What personality traits have you heard are gender specific and then have found them to be true of both males and females?
References:
Dindia, K. (2006). Men are From North Dakota, Women are From
South Dakota. In K. Dindia & D. J. Canary (Ed.), Sex Differences and
Similarities in Communication (pp. 3-20). Mahway, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum
Associates.
3 comments:
I often hear people say males are not emotional or don't understand emotions. I have found that often a guy's background and life experiences largely play a role in how attuned they are to me, or other women. In my humble opinion, assuming someone's incompetent in understanding you is a recipe for disaster. It doesn't foster mutual respect and can likely lead to more conflict and alienation. sadly, I see this too often in relationships around me.
P.s. On the flipside, I have encountered plenty of girls who lack empathy, and can't handle when people around them are emotional or need support. Perhaps that too is life experience-based, and I accept that...but clearly this isn't gender-specific.
Some relationships need some understanding so sometimes you need to understand the difference of the two of you. not all the time, you need to get your feet of the ground and understanding everything but you need to also understand that there are things that you need to consider to understand a certain scenario. Try asking people here http://me2.do/F2xfOfNO just join and go on.
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